Nineteenth Nervous breakdown

[PNR2008]

I feel like what my mother used to call a nervous breakdown.

It's no secret that I've been having financial problems that might precipitate a move but I have looked into a few programs that will help me if I'm approved and I can appeal a decision to cut a private disability amount. These two directions were not known to me even three weeks ago and the first one has a cut off date of April 30, the other has to be resolved before June when funds will stop.


So here I am doing 0 to 120mph, getting papers ready and copies made, trying to follow directions with a brain the size of a pea and nerve endings firing all over the place and what is my brain doing? It's shutting down.


My PC skills aren't great, my memory is piss poor and I'm trying to keep the titanic from going down, not to mention some people employed by the state can't understand why I'm not working faster and getting this thing done. It's all the things we consider a nightmare, stakes are high, time is running out and I'm circling the drain. I have to deduce the priorities and complete this mess. Well I just can't

I'm walking dead, can't eat or sleep and just lost a whole paragraph to the ether. Any suggestions on getting this chicken's head back on?

 

[Misfit Toy]

So, I have no major or profound advice, but I do want to say...or ask, how did you find this help? How great are YOU for doing that?! I think it's great that you are resourceful enough that you found help. Also, I think you have to pat yourself on the back. Sit down, pull up a chair and put your feet up and say, "I am great!"

Anyway, all I can say is REST. You are going to have to because you can't continue in such a frenetic way because it will bite you in the behind, but also "do" when you can.

Can you take Rhodiola or maybe some vitamin C for needed energy? How about some B vitamins? You will conk out when this is done. But, to get through it..you may need some supplementation and if you can...hydrocortisone. Just a thought. I know money is tight.

 

[helen1]

It sounds like you might benefit from some anti anxiety supps like GABA, NAG, l theanine, magnesium, etc. Do you have any on hand? Often a combo works better than solo ones. PR member Hip has an excellent list in his signature.
I feel for you and wish you clarity! I've just got through some overdue paperwork myself and know how hard it is...

 

[PNR2008]

Thx I have a lot of supplements but don't take them because of swallowing problems, maybe because of the POTS but you are right and Misfit toy. I'll just have to take one or two at a time with a lot of liquid. OMG my poor brain just said I quit so I'll try anything. @helen1, @Misfit Toy.






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[Little Bluestem]

L-theanine and magnesium can be purchased as powders and mixed into liquids or soft foods. L-theanine should not be take with protein (or fat?), so fruit juice or apple sauce would be good choices. Water is always good if the taste is acceptable.

 

[alex3619]

@PNR2008 I am not convinced this is a "nervous breakdown". I suspect it might be over-used parts of your brain shutting down, localized PEM. I have the same issues. In me its a loss of cognitive function that is very specific to particular tasks. My ability to read and perform math at the moment is close to zero, though I can still understand mathematical relationships, just don't ask me to mentally multiply something, or remember a bunch of numbers.

I think generalized PEM might do the same thing. Cheney suspects various functions shut down as our energy systems shut down. The brain shuts down in stages - one piece at a time.

I have my own legal issues involving a trust which I am trying to divest myself of, and I cannot process the math that at least one semi-government agency requires, and two federal agencies also require.

 

[PNR2008]

@alex3619 I went thru an hour of intense searching and checking, putting together the paperwork and I got 75% done! I was elated. The
adrenelin kicked in and I was able to sort three areas for filing but not without a horrible price.

In bed two days, little stimulus and a lot of knee, back, hand and arm pain---from shuffling papers!! I just laid there resting my brain and body until I could sleep which didn't happen until the next day. Working on copies today.

When I think of the work I used to do as an expeditor and interior designer, the paperwork, follow-up, salesmanship and I remembered so much without opening a file! Oh well. the important thing is to manage. You are right about the PEM, it's a devil. Thanks for thinking of me.

 

[peggy-sue]

I can't add much more than my deepest sympathy.

You're amazing. You have achieved so much despite the difficulties and payback.

It is a matter of prioritising, and you have remembered to factor in the very major priority of dealing with the effects it is all having on you, you know you need rest and how important that is.

It's at times like this that I do use the (Solgar) Carnitine complex to help mitigate the payback.

And when I will resort to demanding valium, because it's the only thing that will calm me down enough to cope at the time. (I have severe addiction problems with it; it was still worth it, for getting through that awful time.)

 

[PNR2008]

@peggy-sue, Thanks for the compliment. I'm still not out of the woods yet must copy and retrieve 2 documents to fax, but considering that when I started it took 2 weeks just to look at my instructions and every time I did my brain shut down. Well I faced my damn fears and gave myself a reward after an hour to watch "Grimm", I'm good at using mind tricks. Then had to make myself stop because of my own body's stimulants and of course sleep was impossible, I knew I'd be in trouble but this had to be done and I swallowed every supplements I had (within reason, reason I may not have had).

I didn't yell at God or think of suicide during the payback just tried to quietly rest and I did have a Xanax. Working on the copies tonite (my best time) and I will continue slowly. Oh God help us all. Yoi, Yoi.

 

[peggy-sue]

You deserve it, you really, really do. What a true expert you are in your own illness.

Heave a sigh of relief that you are so well prepared and organised and managing to optimise everything as well as you are, taking into account which bits of tasks you can do, in whichever state of mind or depletion you are in - this is micro-management extraordinaire!

Can you imagine how awful it would be if you didn't know how to care for yourself during all this?

Yes, it's still ghastly and it still sucks, but you're a winner.