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Can You Come for a Visit? My ME/CFS Says No

New grandma Jody Smith shares her frustrations about not being able to visit the new baby…

pixabay-baby-feet-2

My daughter and son-in-law just had a baby last week. We are thrilled. But we won’t be able to see the baby or hold her any time soon. We won’t be able to take over little gifts or help out with housework or babysitting.

The little family lives a province away and we can’t afford to make the trip. And that includes not being able to afford the energy it would require.

People automatically — and naturally — ask if we’re going to fly out to see them, and I must repeat to one then another that, no we won’t be able to go.

I want to. Boy, do I want to. But even if it was possible to buy a ticket I don’t know whether I would be able to make the trip. And I don’t know whether they would end up having to take care of me.

I’m thankful for Facebook, and emails, and pictures. Certainly it is easier to be a long-distance grandparent now than it was for my parents’ generation.

But it’s still frustrating. You know what I’m talking about. I’m not just writing this to complain and feel sorry for myself. (Okay, that is one of the reasons.) But it’s also to commisserate with all of you who also can’t reach the people you love because of the limitations of ME/CFS.

For those of us who have severe symptoms, our loved ones don’t even have to be in another province. Maybe they’re less than a half-hour drive from you. But if you can’t manage that short trip — or if you are too ill to have them come to your house — they might as well be a world away.

This is such a difficult challenge for many of us. It is not well understood by the healthy world. It’s embarrassing to have to say, no, I’m not going to see the new baby. No, I won’t be going to the wedding. No, I’ll have to miss the graduation, the christening, the reunion …

And forget about what other people think. We wonder if our kids know how much we love them. Do they know in their hearts that if we could be there, we would? How much are they missing out on when we can’t jump on a plane, or hop in the car and just GO … ? We all know the answer to that and it breaks our hearts.

And yet.

We have to accept our realities, and accept the limitations on what we can and can’t do. We tell them how much we love them. We tell them we’d be there if we could. And hopefully our kids know us well enough to believe us.

We get as creative as we are able. Some of us can Skype without neurological craziness. Some of us can’t do that. But maybe we can email or write on Facebook. We can devour photos and click Like, Like, Like. We can lol and send hugs and kisses xoxoxoxo

And we remind ourselves that despite the limitations our love and past history are very real and they matter, to us and to the people who are so important to us. We hope for the day when we will be able to jump on the plane or hop in the car and go. We look forward to visits from them (those of us able to have company without crashing). We send gifts when we can.

The old slogan from Bell about phoning being “the next best thing to being there” may ring hollow at times but the telephone partners with the internet as open doors for many of us and we take advantage of them. Because we love our kids, our friends, and though it drives us nuts that we can’t go see them, we are lucky to have these open doors.

Do you have loved ones you miss that you can’t go to visit?

 

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{ 42 comments… add one }

  • KayAnne September 18, 2014, 2:21 am

    Not being able to participate in family affairs has been the most sorrowful aspect to these ugly, ugly dis-eases! I so identify and empathize with you Jody. Just want to tell you what an inspiration you have been to me for several years. I have realized that all of my 'best friends' are people whom I have never seen but regularly read about their lives. I am 74, and have had this for over 20 years, who knows how long before diagnosis? Still trying to heal whatever I can, only use natural methods. I have this feeling that if we had been better respected and served and most of all BELIEVED when we first had symptoms

  • Dreambirdie September 18, 2014, 2:30 am

    Yes, this always sucks.

    I don't have any family I would want to see, but I sure wish I could travel somewhere some time.

    And I definitely wish that you could go visit your new grand-baby. :(

  • WillowJ September 18, 2014, 2:55 am

    Yes, I totally relate.

    I also wish you could visit your grandbaby.

  • SDSue September 18, 2014, 5:28 am
    KayAnne

    Not being able to participate in family affairs has been the most sorrowful aspect to these ugly, ugly dis-eases! I so identify and empathize with you Jody. Just want to tell you what an inspiration you have been to me for several years. I have realized that all of my 'best friends' are people whom I have never seen but regularly read about their lives. I am 74, and have had this for over 20 years, who knows how long before diagnosis? Still trying to heal whatever I can, only use natural methods. I have this feeling that if we had been better respected and served and most of all BELIEVED when we first had symptoms

    Hey KayAnne,
    I've never met you, either, but I feel instant camaraderie. I'm 53 – housebound for 2 years, sick for much longer. You are me in 20 years! If you can do it, then so can I. Hang in there, my fellow traveler. YOU are an inspiration, too :)

  • SDSue September 18, 2014, 5:30 am

    Thanks, Jody, for putting into words the losses we all face.

    If we could, we would.

  • taniaaust1 September 18, 2014, 11:51 am

    This is one loss I find very hard too. Not being able to visit any of my grandchildren and missing out on theirr lives. I'd be a quite doting grandmother otherwise. I'd always looked forward to grandchildren too. I never would of ever dreamed about hardly ever having children about me.

    I find on the rare occassions my sister visits with her children for 2-3 hrs hard, one of those occassions caused me to end up in hospital by the next day. My sister invited me to go and stay with her not long ago cause I was feeling very very down but I had to knock back that offer as I wouldnt been able to handle it, children around me are so so draining. (and I cant drive either).

  • liverock September 18, 2014, 2:58 pm

    Congratulations Jody!! Hope Mother and Granddaughter are both doing well. :balloons::balloons:
    It sucks doesnt it when this wretched disease prevents us from participating in those important family life occasions.
    Its hard but you can look forward to the moment when the family visit and you hold your new granddaughter for the first time when all the present frustration will evaporate.

    View attachment 8281

  • Sherpa September 18, 2014, 4:11 pm

    I missed my dear friend's wedding after he bought me a ticket to attend. I wanted to be there so much and it was devastating when I had a bad "flare up" a few weeks before, I just knew there was no way I could get on the plane and make a cross country trip that involved driving & camping. This disease is awful!

  • Jody September 18, 2014, 9:32 pm
    KayAnne

    Not being able to participate in family affairs has been the most sorrowful aspect to these ugly, ugly dis-eases! I so identify and empathize with you Jody. Just want to tell you what an inspiration you have been to me for several years. I have realized that all of my 'best friends' are people whom I have never seen but regularly read about their lives. I am 74, and have had this for over 20 years, who knows how long before diagnosis? Still trying to heal whatever I can, only use natural methods. I have this feeling that if we had been better respected and served and most of all BELIEVED when we first had symptoms

    KayAnne, I am touched. Thank you for your kind words.

  • Jody September 18, 2014, 9:32 pm
    Dreambirdie

    Yes, this always sucks.

    I don't have any family I would want to see, but I sure wish I could travel somewhere some time.

    And I definitely wish that you could go visit your new grand-baby. :(

    Thanks db.:)

  • Jody September 18, 2014, 9:33 pm
    WillowJ

    Yes, I totally relate.

    I also wish you could visit your grandbaby.

    Thanks Willow.:)

  • Jody September 18, 2014, 9:34 pm
    SDSue

    Thanks, Jody, for putting into words the losses we all face.

    If we could, we would.

    That's so true, SDSue.

  • Jody September 18, 2014, 9:35 pm
    taniaaust1

    This is one loss I find very hard too. Not being able to visit any of my grandchildren and missing out on theirr lives. I'd be a quite doting grandmother otherwise. I'd always looked forward to grandchildren too. I never would of ever dreamed about hardly ever having children about me.

    I find on the rare occassions my sister visits with her children for 2-3 hrs hard, one of those occassions caused me to end up in hospital by the next day. My sister invited me to go and stay with her not long ago cause I was feeling very very down but I had to knock back that offer as I wouldnt been able to handle it, children around me are so so draining. (and I cant drive either).

    I'd be that kind of grandma too.:) I'd be flying out to Manitoba to see our new granddaughter, and out to British Columbia to see our two grandsons.

  • Jody September 18, 2014, 9:36 pm
    liverock

    Congratulations Jody!! Hope Mother and Granddaughter are both doing well. :balloons::balloons:
    It sucks doesnt it when this wretched disease prevents us from participating in those important family life occasions.
    Its hard but you can look forward to the moment when the family visit and you hold your new granddaughter for the first time when all the present frustration will evaporate.

    View attachment 8281

    What a great picture, Liverock.:)

    And yeah, you're right. I am pretty sure they'll be able to come visit at some point, and I will love it when that happens. Meantime, my daughter Sarah is really good about posting photos and updates on facebook. I can go with that.

  • Jody September 18, 2014, 9:37 pm
    Sherpa

    I missed my dear friend's wedding after he bought me a ticket to attend. I wanted to be there so much and it was devastating when I had a bad "flare up" a few weeks before, I just knew there was no way I could get on the plane and make a cross country trip that involved driving & camping. This disease is awful!

    Sherpa,

    Those situations are wrenching, when you had a possible chance to go and then a crash slams the door shut. I'm so sorry you couldn't go.

  • Nielk September 19, 2014, 12:38 am

    This was very sad to read, Jody. I know that you have so much love to give and that you adore your family. I always see the beautiful pictures you share on fb and how you post each milestone. I guess, like you stated, we have to learn how to show your love in a different way. I really wish for you that things will turn around soon; both financially and physically.

  • Jody September 19, 2014, 2:38 pm
    Nielk

    This was very sad to read, Jody. I know that you have so much love to give and that you adore your family. I always see the beautiful pictures you share on fb and how you post each milestone. I guess, like you stated, we have to learn how to show your love in a different way. I really wish for you that things will turn around soon; both financially and physically.

    Well thank you Nielk. You are sweet.:)

    I'm hopeful that things will improve in all respects. May they improve for all of us.

  • Nico September 21, 2014, 6:30 pm

    This is a heartbreaking illness. I was lucky enough to see my family for a Thanksgiving 2 years ago. It was a very happy day for me, and I hope to relive the experience. That was, however, the first time in years I was able to attend. And, what the future holds is always uncertain. Missing out on seeing family, friends, making new friends even… is gut wrenching. There is no explaining it to healthy people in a way they can understand, I think. I feel like I am letting my relatives down, and myself too.
    I do hope you get to see your grand-baby before too much longer. Congratulations grandma :)

  • Jody September 23, 2014, 12:57 am

    Nico,

    I'm sorry you've had to miss out on so much. Healthy people don't understand. No matter what anyone might think though, you know, and we know, that you are not "letting anyone down". It is just the illness you must grapple with as best you can.

    Thanks for the well wishes.:)

  • alex3619 September 23, 2014, 1:02 am

    When we cannot visit there is a tendency for some to see us as not interested as well. This has happened to me.

  • whodathunkit September 23, 2014, 2:55 am

    Jody, sweetie, Congrats on your new Grandbaby. I hope the stars come together for you and you can get to see her, some how, some way.

    On a lighter note, there's something quite energizing about smelling new baby head. 😉 My hope for you is that you can get that baby head "fix" soon. Even if it's quick and doesn't last long enough, it's "Ahhhhhh…" while it's there.

  • Gingergrrl September 23, 2014, 4:30 am

    @Jody I am late to this thread but also want to congratulate you on your new grand baby. I was racking my brain trying to think of a way you could see her. But I know you will some day soon and that time will be amazing for you.

  • Jody September 23, 2014, 3:23 pm
    alex3619

    When we cannot visit there is a tendency for some to see us as not interested as well. This has happened to me.

    Alex,

    I know what you mean. It has happened to me as well … still happens.

  • Jody September 23, 2014, 3:24 pm
    whodathunkit

    Jody, sweetie, Congrats on your new Grandbaby. I hope the stars come together for you and you can get to see her, some how, some way.

    On a lighter note, there's something quite energizing about smelling new baby head. 😉 My hope for you is that you can get that baby head "fix" soon. Even if it's quick and doesn't last long enough, it's "Ahhhhhh…" while it's there.

    Thanks whodathunkit,

    Yes, babies smell SO good! even when they don't.:) I am hoping for a head fix at some point.:)

  • Jody September 23, 2014, 3:26 pm
    Gingergrrl

    @Jody I am late to this thread but also want to congratulate you on your new grand baby. I was racking my brain trying to think of a way you could see her. But I know you will some day soon and that time will be amazing for you.

    Gingergrrl,

    I so appreciate you racking your brain for my benefit.:) But have a care, don't strain that ME/CFS brain if you can possibly avoid it. I am thinking the little fam will probably make their way to us some time in the next year. And since my daughter has maternity leave for I think the next 9 months, maybe it will be in less than a year, to work with her time off.

    Meanwhile, the photos and facebook posts are getting a real workout.:)

  • soxfan October 4, 2014, 1:26 pm

    Jody– I can relate to this post totally except for the fact that I am lucky enough to have recently moved to the town my son and daughter in law live. I (3 weeks ago) just became a grandmother to a precious baby girl and was also fortunate enough to be in the delivery room when she was born.
    My husband and I moved 9 months ago from the home we had lived in for 34 years in order to be closer to them. At that time they were not expecting but we moved because we could no longer maintain a big house and yard.

    I do hope our loved ones understand that we would be there if we could but I know in my heart that because I look healthy and they never see me at my worse then it is hard for anyone including family and friends to "get it". They don't see me when I am crashed and unable to move….

    Your article was wonderful and I want to congratulate you on your granddaughter….

  • Jody October 5, 2014, 12:40 am
    soxfan

    Jody– I can relate to this post totally except for the fact that I am lucky enough to have recently moved to the town my son and daughter in law live. I (3 weeks ago) just became a grandmother to a precious baby girl and was also fortunate enough to be in the delivery room when she was born.
    My husband and I moved 9 months ago from the home we had lived in for 34 years in order to be closer to them. At that time they were not expecting but we moved because we could no longer maintain a big house and yard.

    I do hope our loved ones understand that we would be there if we could but I know in my heart that because I look healthy and they never see me at my worse then it is hard for anyone including family and friends to "get it". They don't see me when I am crashed and unable to move….

    Your article was wonderful and I want to congratulate you on your granddaughter….

    Soxfan,

    Congratulations to you too, Grandma.:) My granddaughter is also 3 wks old.

    You are indeed lucky to be so close to them. Good planning on your part!

  • golden October 6, 2014, 5:06 pm

    Reflexology for babies is always a lovely help to them…

    If the parents like that sort of thing too, with their approval and permission, maybe that is something a New Granny could arrange to make up for not being able to be there.

  • john66 October 15, 2014, 2:49 am

    my wife and I are expecting a child in about 2 weeks I have CFS and she does not. Very excited and nervous at the same time all the scans indicate he is healthy but the financial realities not a good picture. Applied for all sorts of state and federal aid but nothing has come through so far. Ssdi is in appeal, along with medicaid etc…I tried a commission based sales job for a few months, the reality is I can work an hour or two before crashing. Some days, bed bound. Just do not have mental or physical staying power. Car is stuck in driveway. No cash to fix it. Some days………

  • Jody October 16, 2014, 1:52 am
    john66

    my wife and I are expecting a child in about 2 weeks I have CFS and she does not. Very excited and nervous at the same time all the scans indicate he is healthy but the financial realities not a good picture. Applied for all sorts of state and federal aid but nothing has come through so far. Ssdi is in appeal, along with medicaid etc…I tried a commission based sales job for a few months, the reality is I can work an hour or two before crashing. Some days, bed bound. Just do not have mental or physical staying power. Car is stuck in driveway. No cash to fix it. Some days………

    John,

    I so understand. The stress in a situation like what you're dealing with is crushing. I have been there, and know that I could be there in the future, since we don't have any financial reserves or nest egg. It is awful to have a vehicle that doesn't run or can't be depended on. And knowing you need to find a way to bring in money does not change the fact that you are sick and aren't able to do it. It is not a matter of character or priorities, it is just a hard fact of life.

    I wish I could give you something helpful in a practical way, which I know is what you really need right now. All I can do is tell you that there have been so many times in rearing our five kids when I just didn't know where to turn. We have somehow always managed — had to skimp on things like dentist, groceries and clothing that met our standards, … you know the kinds of things I'm talking about.

    Our kids are grown now. One has ME/CFS and is living at home with us. The rest are married or in longterm relationships and are independent. They all did without, and they know they did. They were in on all the financial crises and the worries. Yet they don't seem to hold it against us, though my husband and I struggle with feeling like we let them down. But they are well-adjusted, and loving people who love us despite it all.

    I know you are strong, and doing everything you can, to the detriment of your own health. I hope some opportunities and help will come your way. You deserve help and support.

  • Misfit Toy October 28, 2014, 7:12 am

    Yes, I have missed weddings, friends, family, concerts (that I have spent too much money on) and so much more from this illness. I have lost thousands of dollars for having to cancel a vacation or come home from a vacation where I got sick.

    But….it still doesn't compare to not seeing a grand-baby, so for that I am so sorry. That is a true sorrow, but I hold out hope that you will one day. I have to believe that for you and for me. That there is a cloud with a silver lining.

  • Jody October 28, 2014, 7:47 pm
    Misfit Toy

    Yes, I have missed weddings, friends, family, concerts (that I have spent too much money on) and so much more from this illness. I have lost thousands of dollars for having to cancel a vacation or come home from a vacation where I got sick.

    But….it still doesn't compare to not seeing a grand-baby, so for that I am so sorry. That is a true sorrow, but I hold out hope that you will one day. I have to believe that for you and for me. That there is a cloud with a silver lining.

    Yup, we've missed a passel of them, haven't we Misfit Toy.

    But I agree with you. I am hoping to be able to make a visit, or they might be able to come see us. And I agree that there has to be a silver lining. Many silver linings. And we will find them because we will never stop looking.

  • Ambivalent November 3, 2014, 9:14 pm
    Misfit Toy

    Yes, I have missed weddings, friends, family, concerts (that I have spent too much money on) and so much more from this illness. I have lost thousands of dollars for having to cancel a vacation or come home from a vacation where I got sick.

    But….it still doesn't compare to not seeing a grand-baby, so for that I am so sorry. That is a true sorrow, but I hold out hope that you will one day. I have to believe that for you and for me. That there is a cloud with a silver lining.

    I can relate as well. The times I have forced myself to go to an event I usually have a great time but pay for it big time after. What is the best thing to do? Grit your teeth
    and smile at these functions? Hard to explain to others sometimes why you are not
    on the dance floor at a wedding.

  • barbc56 December 12, 2014, 8:42 pm

    Jody, I have been meaning to read this but you know how that can be. I got sidetracked and then I was trying to find it under blogs, so wasn't even in the right place to look.

    Late or not, I just want you to know this was very touching. We can all relate to what you are going through and it's hard. No way around that.

    Thanks for writing this.

    Barb

  • alex3619 December 12, 2014, 11:25 pm
    Ambivalent

    What is the best thing to do? Grit your teeth
    and smile at these functions?

    The scene: Christmas day at my brother's house, some time in the 90s. The event: Christmas lunch (its summer here) with relatives having flown in from the UK. Me: stuck in an air conditioned dark room, not joining in.

    This does not in my experience foster understanding. It fosters judgement.

  • Jody December 16, 2014, 1:15 am
    barbc56

    Jody, I have been meaning to read this but you know how that can be. I got sidetracked and then I was trying to find it under blogs, so wasn't even in the right place to look.

    Late or not, I just want you to know this was very touching. We can all relate to what you are going through and it's hard. No way around that.

    Thanks for writing this.

    Barb

    Thanks Barb. :)

  • maisiE January 3, 2015, 1:27 am

    Jody my heart goes out to you.
    God bless, maisiE.

  • Jody January 3, 2015, 5:18 pm
    maisiE

    Jody my heart goes out to you.
    God bless, maisiE.

    Thank you maisiE. I appreciate that.:)

  • PurpleHaze March 31, 2015, 8:29 pm

    I can totally relate to your post, Jody! I have been sick for over 20 years but functional enough to be able to work until almost 6 years ago. All of my family live close to or over 1000 miles away so the only way to see them is by plane. 1) can no longer afford the airfare because it has skyrocketed and my income has declined substantially. 2) The elephant in the room.

    Everyone expects me to be the vibrant person I was and do, visit and cram more than I can possibly do. Sometimes I'm blessed, maybe I pray harder for those times?, and I can manage up until my trip and even throughout it, if I am careful but then crash for weeks afterwards – but that is worth it! Sometimes, however, I crash during it and that is SO not fun!

    A few years ago my hubby and I planned a trip to Massachusetts (from Texas at that time) to visit most of our family. We enjoyed a Memorial Day cookout and then planned to go to the little town's parade the next day, which used to be a tradition for us when we lived there. Well, the morning of the parade, I could barely wake and was fraught with pain. I tried really hard to manage getting up, dressed, etc. but failed miserably. Even if I could have dragged myself there; the crowd, noises, smells, and color would all have been over-the-top too much! When I called my daughter to tell her we wouldn't be able to go, she became terribly mad at me. Evidently she would not even have bothered to go, had we not decided to the day before; but now my granddaughter was looking forward to it so she had to go.

    Can you believe she held a grudge for the next 2 years?! I am so glad my prayers were answered and she finally came around. We are almost as close as we used to be. Maybe that scar will never leave her. Me? I cannot afford to let my hurt feelings scar me.

    I do thank God that he created smart people who invented the internet, computers, Skype and now FaceTime, and every bit of technology that allows us to interact with our faraway loved ones as much as we possibly can! Blessings to you all!

  • *GG* March 31, 2015, 8:49 pm
    PurpleHaze

    I can totally relate to your post, Jody! I have been sick for over 20 years but functional enough to be able to work until almost 6 years ago. All of my family live close to or over 1000 miles away so the only way to see them is by plane. 1) can no longer afford the airfare because it has skyrocketed and my income has declined substantially. 2) The elephant in the room.

    Everyone expects me to be the vibrant person I was and do, visit and cram more than I can possibly do. Sometimes I'm blessed, maybe I pray harder for those times?, and I can manage up until my trip and even throughout it, if I am careful but then crash for weeks afterwards – but that is worth it! Sometimes, however, I crash during it and that is SO not fun!

    A few years ago my hubby and I planned a trip to Massachusetts (from Texas at that time) to visit most of our family. We enjoyed a Memorial Day cookout and then planned to go to the little town's parade the next day, which used to be a tradition for us when we lived there. Well, the morning of the parade, I could barely wake and was fraught with pain. I tried really hard to manage getting up, dressed, etc. but failed miserably. Even if I could have dragged myself there; the crowd, noises, smells, and color would all have been over-the-top too much! When I called my daughter to tell her we wouldn't be able to go, she became terribly mad at me. Evidently she would not even have bothered to go, had we not decided to the day before; but now my granddaughter was looking forward to it so she had to go.

    Can you believe she held a grudge for the next 2 years?! I am so glad my prayers were answered and she finally came around. We are almost as close as we used to be. Maybe that scar will never leave her. Me? I cannot afford to let my hurt feelings scar me.

    I do thank God that he created smart people who invented the internet, computers, Skype and now FaceTime, and every bit of technology that allows us to interact with our faraway loved ones as much as we possibly can! Blessings to you all!

    Stories like this piss me off! If the gov't had not failed more than a generation of patients, this would be MUCH less likely to happen! Perhaps we would be viewed like cancer patients or MS, we need support and understanding, besides a TON of good research, we need REAL treatments now!!

    GG

  • Jody July 6, 2015, 1:38 am
    alex3619

    The scene: Christmas day at my brother's house, some time in the 90s. The event: Christmas lunch (its summer here) with relatives having flown in from the UK. Me: stuck in an air conditioned dark room, not joining in.

    This does not in my experience foster understanding. It fosters judgement.

    Alex

    Those situations are so hard. I can't count the number of times I had to excuse myself from the group in my own living room, to go to my bedroom. Door in the hallway between us had to be closed to keep all sound reaching me to a bare minimum.

    This has been heartbreaking for you. I am sorry to hear it.

  • Jody July 6, 2015, 1:42 am
    PurpleHaze

    I can totally relate to your post, Jody! I have been sick for over 20 years but functional enough to be able to work until almost 6 years ago. All of my family live close to or over 1000 miles away so the only way to see them is by plane. 1) can no longer afford the airfare because it has skyrocketed and my income has declined substantially. 2) The elephant in the room.

    Everyone expects me to be the vibrant person I was and do, visit and cram more than I can possibly do. Sometimes I'm blessed, maybe I pray harder for those times?, and I can manage up until my trip and even throughout it, if I am careful but then crash for weeks afterwards – but that is worth it! Sometimes, however, I crash during it and that is SO not fun!

    A few years ago my hubby and I planned a trip to Massachusetts (from Texas at that time) to visit most of our family. We enjoyed a Memorial Day cookout and then planned to go to the little town's parade the next day, which used to be a tradition for us when we lived there. Well, the morning of the parade, I could barely wake and was fraught with pain. I tried really hard to manage getting up, dressed, etc. but failed miserably. Even if I could have dragged myself there; the crowd, noises, smells, and color would all have been over-the-top too much! When I called my daughter to tell her we wouldn't be able to go, she became terribly mad at me. Evidently she would not even have bothered to go, had we not decided to the day before; but now my granddaughter was looking forward to it so she had to go.

    Can you believe she held a grudge for the next 2 years?! I am so glad my prayers were answered and she finally came around. We are almost as close as we used to be. Maybe that scar will never leave her. Me? I cannot afford to let my hurt feelings scar me.

    I do thank God that he created smart people who invented the internet, computers, Skype and now FaceTime, and every bit of technology that allows us to interact with our faraway loved ones as much as we possibly can! Blessings to you all!

    PurpleHaze

    If it wasn't for the internet I would not have been able to see my newest grandchild growing up for her first 10 months so far. My brother and his family, and my husband's brother and wife have been able to see her in person but I can't make the trip because of CFS and because of the financial ramifications of CFS on top of that.

    We are fortunate that my daughter and granddaughter will be coming to my area for a wedding in a couple of months.

    I have other grandkids I haven't seen in 5 yrs and don't know when that will change. It will almost certainly be when they can come this way again.

    I am sorry to hear of the rift between you and your daughter. There are few things so painful as that. I hope that it will heal — it's amazing what enough time and the realizations that come with the passage of time can do.